While preparing for a vendor event, I stumbled upon the Blog section on Shopify. God told me to stop what I was doing and write. I'm like, wait! What?! God has been dealing with me with obedience in the timing He gives instructions. So here I am, writing my first blog about how my faith helped me overcome my struggles with my body image.
I've been insecure about my weight for as long as I can remember. I've always been big since birth. Growing up, I hated my appearance; I didn't love myself. I constantly put myself down, saying many mean things, which lead to depression and so much more. I sought validation from others to fill a void that no one could. I didn't value myself and often settled for less than I deserved.
Growing up, finding nice clothes and shoes in my size was always a struggle, so I didn't care much about my appearance. However, God had a plan for me. My mom recently told me that when I was younger, I always said I would open up a plus-size store when I was of age. Unfortunately, I don't remember much of my childhood, so I don't recall ever saying it. A few years ago, I remember crying out to God, saying this can't be my life; I know it's got to be more. God showed me a plus-size store. It was the beginning of my transition coming to Christ. I didn't think I could do such a task at that time. Technically, I was right; I couldn't do it alone and in the state of mind I was in then. It wasn't until I fully surrendered my life to Christ that I could birth the vision God gave me. I just recently celebrated my first anniversary at Kelsey Boutique. The process wasn't easy, and I encountered a lot of things along the way, but I thank God I made it through the first year. Through my faith, God showed me that I was created with a purpose and wasn't a mistake! There is so much purpose behind Kelsey Boutique; It's more than just clothes! As I've been working on the vision, God has been giving me more insight as to the purpose of the vision He has given me.
I learned how to love myself through the eyes and heart of God. I had to forgive myself for all the hurtful things I allowed to take place within me. When we think about forgiving, we often think about others that rejected, hurt, abandoned, or abused us. That is what it was for me; I was so focused on forgiving others for a while that I didn't even think about myself. I didn't even think I needed to forgive myself. God showed me how I caused so much harm to myself and that I did. That sounds easy, right? At least, I thought it would be. The process got very uncomfortable; it wasn't until I forgave myself that I realized how uneasy my heart was about me! The same grace I show toward others, I had to extend that same grace to myself! God healed the areas where I struggled the most, and now I am free from bondage. My dark days are so much brighter now. While walking in freedom, I gained a new level of confidence. I no longer walk in insecurities. I now see myself through the eyes of God and love myself because He lives within me. I'm created in God's image and likeness; therefore, I am God's masterpiece!
Ephesians 2:10 KJV For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Now that I've been made anew in Christ Jesus and know who I am, I can carry out God's plans for my life. While doing so, I can adequately care for God's temple and still love myself through the process because God lives within me!
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.